Love Lost: A Short Story

     Hello all! 

I wrote this short story a few days ago, just kinda bored I guess. It is a work of fiction and I would love some constructive criticism. Anyways enjoy!

Freshman year of high school is done. All in all I did decent this term. If you don't know, "decent" is what you get when you have an A average in every subject of the class but homework and participation, and end up with a B or a B+. Now that school is done for summer I have plenty of time to do whatever it is a 15 year old boy could want to do with his time... So I slept for about a week. Paradise was only fun for about a week, so yeah.

                I go to my uncle's house to hang out with my cousin. He has had the privilege of having his parents divorce a few years back. My parents were never married and I didn't see much of my dad. Tommy on the other hand got to see both his parents equally. Not only that, but they felt the need to make up for the fact they weren't together by buying him everything under the sun. So you see, it's a privilege really.

                Tommy had some pretty awesome things. A dirt bike, an ATV, paintball guns, cool toys, and a huge back yard to play with this stuff. Probably the coolest thing he had was a crossbow. He had just gotten a laser scope that was super "accurate".

                Now before I go on, there is something about Tommy you need to know. This kid is a twit. He is completely mental, irrational, irresponsible, and also a year older than me and therefore was able to convince me to do anything he wanted.

 "Dude, you need to see this thing shoot. It's amazing. The bullets fly so fast!" Tommy said. *I know crossbows don't shoot bullets. Like I said, Tommy is kinda dumb.

" Okay... Shoot something." I said unconvinced.

"We need a target. We have any spray paint?"

"No we used it all to paint the driveway... Why did we paint the driveway again?"

"Hmm, cardboard boxes?"

"Used them, as a bridge in the swamp for the quads... You don't even remember why we painted the driveway do you?"

"Well, we have apples."

"We painted the driveways because you're a twit! And what will we do with apples?!"

It didn't take long for him to “create” a target to shoot at. A piece of plywood, one red delicious apple, and a crossbow later we were ready to kick ass.

"This is going to be fukin' awesome. I'm gunna be like Rambo dude!" Tommy said as he strung the bolt.

"I'm gunna fuckin' die... This is it isn't it? I just want you to know that when I die you can't have my computer. I'll fuckin' haunt you, I swear to god you stupid piece of shit."

"Motherfuckin' Rambo..." He said with the kind of look someone gets when they have absolutely no doubt in their mind that they need to do whatever it is they are doing. You know, the look that a 16 year old moron gets, when he is about to shoot an apple off his cousin's head with a laser scope attached to a crossbow...

                The trip to the hospital was pretty uneventful aside from the brutal screaming we got from my uncle. He hit me in the leg. Great aim right? At the very least the doctors were amused. I got to sit on an ER bed for a few hours before it came time to get stitched up. The doctor said that it was only a flesh wound and that I should be able to walk just fine.

"Well I never thought I would see the day when I had to tell my kids not to shoot crossbows at one another, but now I guess it’s not beyond the scope of possibility." Dr. Patel said.

"Glad I could be helpful to the little ones. Even if it is only being used as a bad example." I said with a big shit eating grin on my face.

"Little ones? My kids are both over 20. But hey, I hear stupid spreads like the plague." He said as he laughed his way out of the room.

                 All of a sudden I hear giggling. Being the quick witted teenager I am, I deduct that it’s coming from behind the ominous hospital curtains that are supposed to act like walls for the patients. As if a curtain is some sort of protection from violating doctor patient confidentiality. Half irritated and half amused I asked, "What are you laughing at?"

"A stupid kid who let his cousin shoot him with a crossbow.” Declared a voice.

"Ya know, it’s not polite to listen in on other people’s conversations… Especially in a hospital!” I said, my eyes narrowing in slight anger.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. After I heard the crying, you had my attention.” She said sounding pleased with her quip.

“I wasn’t crying. I was grunting, it’s what men do when they get boo boos!” I said almost yelling. I whipped the curtain back, clearing the barrier between me and the eves dropper

“I bet your grandma thinks you’re as tough as nail, doesn’t she?” Asked the girl, quite smugly I might add.

                From what I could tell she was about my age. She had a slight accent, big honeycomb colored eyes, and dark short hair. She had full lips, a petite nose, three earrings, and soft looking milky white skin. She had a small and fit body, with two legs and two arms. One of which was broken.

I stopped mid insult and stood there looking like an idiot with my mouth gaping open. I was speechless, and a good thing too because I was getting kind of loud. She starred at me with her head on a tilt, her big beautiful eyes looking right through me, and a huge smile directed at my obvious attempt to defend my masculinity. I felt any frustration in me evaporate and I was overcome by a feeling  of pure attraction. In my head we were already drinking dandelion wine and reminiscing about the moment when we first met that day, then reminiscing about how we first reminisced. I know, sounds a bit gay.

The doctor came in with stuff to cast her arm. “Okay Kate, what color will you be stuck with for the next 8 to 12 weeks?”

"Hmmm, I think I'll take green." Kate said not breaking eye contact from me. Her smile unfaltering. And with that, she turned on a heel and followed the doctor into a different room

“Hey! I like green too, it’s uh my favorite color!” I yell after her, my voice cracking. Ah puberty, how you never fail to kick in the door at the most opportune moments.

Over the following days I thought about how socially inept I was, and how their better be a career in social awkwardness otherwise I would never find my niche. “Hey, maybe I’ll be smooth when I’m twenty something.” I would tell myself…

About six days after the hospital I decide to get fresh air and go to the beach like every teen and their mother are doing. I’m on crutches and let me tell you, sand crutching should be an Olympic sport. Anyways, I hobble my way to the first clearing I can find to set up base camp. The beaches in central Jersey get pretty crowded in the summer so It takes me a solid 10 minutes of hopping, crutching, and complaining before I see a spot.

I go to lay out my towel, and before I even open up my backpack I see her. Not sitting by anyone specific, she is sprawled out on a jumbo sized blanket watching the clouds. She is wearing a black Roxy bikini and a big sun hat. She has two bracelets, one on her left ankle and one on her right wrist. Her left wrist is adorned with an emerald green cast, encasing her arm from elbow to thumb. I was surprised, to say the least. I must of stopped breathing because I remember it getting really hot all of a sudden.

"How long are you going to stand there staring at me with your mouth open, before you come say hi?" Kate said without even looking my way. I gasped for air as I tried to act nonchalant.

"Uhh, hey. Kate right? I wasn’t staring, just laying out my towel is all. Surveying the land really, don’t want to lay on uneven ground or anything.”

"Yeah, sure. You kinda looked like you weren’t breathing…”

"Yeah uh, so my name is Guy."

"Guy? Is that a made up name? Your parents were just lazy when they named you huh?"

"Oh, like I haven’t hear that one before. Har har… So you live around here?"

“Nah, I’m on vacation with ma famille. We’re from Canada. You?”

“Oh, no I live a few minutes away from here… (about 30 awkward seconds pass)So do you use Crest toothpaste? I hear 4 out of 5 dentists recommend it…”

We talked for hours. It’s strange to think, now that I look back on it, that we got as close as we did. Apparently being mediocre at best with conversation is a pretty popular thing in Canada. I mean, just look at Michael Cera…

We spent the rest of the summer hanging out. She taught me to make bacon and play hockey, and I thought her how to play videogames and shirk responsibility. We discussed how it was almost like fate that we both ended up in the hospital at the same time.

“So your bigger sister convinced you to go on the roof?”

“Yup…”

“And you fell and broke your arm?”

“… She is my bigger sister! She is older and just so convincing sometimes!”

“I feel so… similar…”

We talked about anything and everything. She was the yin to my yang, my partner in crime, she knew what to say when I was at a loss for words. We complimented each other perfectly.

“So when your mom tells you to do the dishes, you bring them out in the yard and spray them with a hose?...”

“Yeah but only in the summer. In the winter time it’s too cold.”

“Makes sense… God, Americans are lazy.”

“You mean innovative.”

We became more than just friends. The 22^nd of July was the first time she kissed me. Her lips tasted of salt water and the way her head eclipsed the sun made her dark hair shine brilliantly. She told me that she had had better, but if you ask me, I think it was her first kiss.

It was from then on that we were inseparable. She was always at my house or we were at the beach. Her parents didn’t seem to mind her spending so much time away, I think they were a little upset with her for getting hurt on vacation. Something about health care blah blah, greedy doctors, blah blah, America is stupid, blah blah. Either way it was better for us.

We completely avoided the topic of her leaving at the end of summer. I don’t know if it was a taboo or if we just honestly didn’t think of it, but it came up on us fast. Too fast for us to have prepared for it. It hit us hard one day, unexpectedly blindsided by the inevitable we started to cherish the time we had left and she started sneaking out at night to come sleep in my bed. I held her each night as if it was our last night together. Then every morning before the sun came up we would sneak her back into her hotel.

It was the  4^th of August, the sun had just set, and we sat watching the fireflies. She held my hand, and it felt like she was the only thing that anchored me to the Earth; and without her I would drift away. At this point she rarely made fun of me anymore, she would only be nice. It made me feel like I was terminal with cancer and she was trying to make my last moments as nice as possible. It unnerved me... I looked at her, and I felt different. I felt it with every fiber of my being, and she needed to know.

"I love you, and stuff." I said clumsily. My grip on her hand slowly becoming a GI Joe death grip, waiting for her response.

“Is that a tear in your eye?... Nah I bet you are just about to man grunt, right?”

I kissed her. When I pulled back to look at her again, she smiled as big as I had ever seen her smile. She too had a tear rising in her eye. She told me she loved me and kissed me again. We made love, for the first and only time.

She slept with her head on my chest that night. As if she were listening to my heartbeat. Memorizing it like the lyrics of her favorite song. She slept like this every night until the night she left.

It was the 13^th of August when she left me. She wanted to preserve the summer as it was, in her memory, so she could save it forever. Meaning, long distance relationships never work. Especially when neither one of us can drive. I felt like my best friend had died. It was all I could do, to not start screaming about how dumb she was for thinking that. Maybe if I had… It was the only time since the hospital that I didn’t know what to say to her.

I helped her pack the car, it was like I was a zombie. I didn’t say anything; I should have said something, anything! But every time I searched for the words to say, all I could find was pain. I didn’t have my yin, saying what I needed to be said this time.

The last words I said to her were

“I love you…  I just…”

She kissed me. She looked right through me for the last time. Peering into my mind and heart through my eyes, and I knew she understood. As she drove away I waited for her to look back. I waited until the car was out of sight, I waited until the sun went down, and I waited until the fireflies went to sleep… She never looked back.

I can only assume that it was as hard for her as it was for me, and that she didn't want my last memory of her to be of her crying face. But I guess I'm okay with that, because I didn't want her to see mine either.

I returned to school on the 15^th of September. Numb to the people who knew nothing of my loss. I longed to make a connection with anyone but not knowing how. I simply existed. I was a yin with no yang once more.

So here I am a twenty something year old, still as socially awkward as ever. I’ve never heard from or seen Kate since the day she left. I eventually got over her and put myself out there again. And if you ask me “Well Guy, what has this experience taught you?” I guess my answer is that, Canadians are weird, don’t fall in love with them…

I'm Not Gunna Tweet You A Love Song

So I caved and got myself a Twitter account. It seems like a decent way to keep up with my beloved you tubers and actors. Frankly I don't know what to tweet about... Hell I barely know what to blog about. What I DO want to blog about today though, is you tube.

I've been spending a lot of time watching you tube and reading into how the you tube "stars" actually make money and what not. I just want to say that this just freakin redic... OKAY I WANT TO DO IT TOO!!!!

It seems like the most fun EVER and if you can actually make money from it that is SO COOL! It would be so cool to put myself out there like that. I mean, I think I'm funny sometimes... I bet other people would too. If anything I can just make a fool out of myself for other peoples amusement lol.

This is an ode to the you tube stars that I love so.



Charlie McDonnell aka Charlieissocoollike. I love this kid, I so want to be his friend. He is a singing, awkward, creative English dude. Amazing channel, watch ALL OF HIS STUFF!



Pomplamoose! A two person band of wonderfulness. The stunningly beautiful Natalie Dawn has a smooth beautiful voice and the quirky Jack Conte is a BRILLIANT musician. Truly the epitome of talent.



Josh Sundquist.  He is an author and an Olympian skier, oh yeah he is an amputee. He is hilarious, creative, and inspirational. You can't watch his stuff without smiling.

These are just 3 of my favorite. Their are SO many more out there. It amazes me at what people can do and come up with. It makes me want to really get out there and do something with myself.

Ye of Little Faith

So today I have decided to stop eating red meat. White meat I will try my hardest to eliminate as well. I can't possibly give up fish though. With this I also wish to do away with soda and most sweets altogether. But yeah, wish me luck!

I plan on starting a work out schedule soon too. I need to get back in shape pretty bad.

My New Year's Resolution (although late) is to become as UN-American as possible by actually living healthy.

On to other things! I just watched the movie Get Him to the Greek, starring Jonah Hill and Russell Brand. A brief read through on the summery provided by Netflix lead me to assume the movie will be a decent comedy. I have faith in most things Judd Apatow. But this movie is much more then a comedy. It hits on such topics as addiction, monogamy, and friendship (or lack their of). All in all I give this movie a solid 7.5 out of 10. The music is funny sexual and not bad in the least. While the acting left nothing to be desired. I would definitely recommend this movie.

I just picked up the series Firefly today as well. A set normally costing in excess of 50.00 USD, I was able to find for only 15.00 USD; a beautiful steal. This series was simply outstanding. It ran a total of 14 episodes and ending with the movie Serenity (which I also got on sale for only 6.00 USD). This series casts such names as Jewel Staite (Stargate: Atlantis) and Alan Tudyk (28 Days, A Knight's Tale, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story) among a myriad of others. The acting in this series was great, each one of the cast really became their character. The music was beautifully scored, and the special effects are wonderful. This is hands down one of my favorite series ever aired. Taking place 500 years in the future, this series is in SPACE! The crew of the "Firefly-class" spaceship Serenity are ready for action. They take any job that comes their way (legal or not) to keep gas in the tanks and food on the table. The crew takes on a new passenger that is a fugitive from the "Alliance" (a totalitarian regime... in SPACE), and end up on the run. Avoiding Alliance ships and flesh-eating "Reavers" the crew forms a bond with the mysterious passenger and her brother. It truly is a spectacular series... IN SPACE!!!! (think space cowboys... oh yeah!)

Of Mice and Men

Tonight I was invited out by a friend to go to a bar. Of course to have fun but also with the intention of introducing me to a lady friend. So let me paint this picture for you. I am confident in myself, the way I look and my ability to meet and talk with people. But tonight, oh man. I meet an absolutely beautiful girl which right off the bat leaves me speechless and I end up looking dumb, this makes me timid. I immediately realize that reading body language does me no good if I don't know what to say. Needless to say it was a disaster. She wasn't interested in the least. Not only that, but when I meet my friends other friends I can't hear anything that is being said, I have kinda bad hearing (due to shooting, and firing cannons...) So all I can hear are bits and pieces of inside jokes that I so long to understand hahah. For the majority of the time I was there I was quiet and and standing awkwardly. So Mr. Steinbeck, I am a mouse.

I can't help but to think had this been is a slightly quieter setting, maybe a house party, I would have been able to connect on a personal level with everyone and actually join in on a conversation. But not every hand you're dealt will be a favorable one. In retrospect had I met this girl anywhere I would have been dumb struck haha. Although she too didn't seem to be the extrovert. She sat very defensively, averted he eyes when I made contact and all in all seemed very shy herself.

All in all I had a pretty good night. Awkwardness and all it was fun. On a different note I got pulled over too! I was going 16 over the speed limit on the bridge. When the cop pulled me over I guess he saw my military ID and we started talking about the Army. We talked for like 15 minutes before he told me to drive safer and let me go.

Eventful as this night has been, I'm kinda glad I'm home.

The Art of Wall-flowering and How to Break It

I have until recently been in a relationship that spanned the better part of 3 years. Prior to being in the relation I would definitely say I was on my "A Game" socially. I had no qualms meeting new people, developing relationships them, and more importantly talking to women. After being out of the market so to speak for about 3 years I have lost any hint social blossoming let alone with the opposite sex. In the relationship I didn't have to worry about socializing with girls on a level above friendship in fact I forced myself to avoid it. I learned to fly under the radar, avoid eye contact and assume defensive body positions to avoid coming off that I was interested in anyone other then the person I was with. I met friends through my significant other and for the most part didn't meet new people. Over the course of 3 years I perfected this art of being invisible and now that I am single its hard to make people see me or not come off like a socially awkward pre-teen for that matter. I recently read this book:

It outlined everything I was doing wrong in all aspects of my life both professional and personal. Then told me simply how to fix it. Let me tell you, I feel like a freakin' Jedi after reading this book. It is amazing how perceptive you can be when you know what to look for. This book made me do a complete 180 in the way I thought when I met people and more importantly when I met women. It really gave me a substantial amount of confidence back and thrust me into a world with just the tools I need to cope.

So after thinking and reassessing a lot of things. I found pros and cons of being able to go into "stealth mode" as I like to call it. I'd like to share some tips on how to do it.

Two primary ways to be invisible, hiding in plain sight and hiding out of sight. I know real difficult stuff here. But wait, there is an art to it.

Lets say you are at the mall and you see someone you know in the store you are in. You want to slip past them to the rear of the store. Here is how. Try getting as far as possible from the person when you pass them. Keep your arms crossed; subconsciously this is read as a defensive pose and and it makes yourself look smaller and easier to over look. Use a hand to cover some part of your face be it one eye or your nose; with one piece of the face gone your mind has trouble processing the image and makes it difficult for your brain to piece together the memory. Walk at a medium pace, you don' to linger too long as it might get you noticed and you don't want to go to fast. How hard is it to spot someone sprinting through a book store?! Then when you past them, muster up a mucus rich cough or clearing of the throat. Not too loud to be obvious but loud enough to be heard. People in today's society are germaphobes and are disgusted by mucous. This noise is more then enough to make them avert their eyes. This type of hiding works well for people you know on a personal level.

The next way to effectively avoid someone works well for someone who you don't know too well but are familiar with them none the less. Lets say a boss from your last job who was a big jerk to you. This technique also only really works if their are several other people around and moving. Most people will assume that to hide from someone you should never make eye contact with them. This s in fact wrong. You are more noticeable when you are averting your eyes then when you make eye contact naturally. For this technique you should be at a medium distance (3-8 feet away) and walking in the opposite direction at a medium pace. Like the first technique you are going to hide a part of your face, I scratch my forehead. With your head tilted down make eye contact for no more then 2 seconds. The average time that contact is made is for 3-5 seconds. In public people make eye contact its just natural but not many people hold it. His mind will see you but after you break the eye contact he will dismiss you as another faceless person in the crowd, essentially making you invisible. Unless the person is LOOKING for people he knows or for you specifically this is a great way to avoid awkward conversations with people you went to high school with or dirty looks from one of your ex's friends.

This behavior paired with my not knowing what to talk about when I meet someone made it super difficult for me to act like a normal person haha. Making myself invisible became second nature. It was just easier to not be seen then to get rejected. So if you find this behavior popping up in your everyday life make a conscious effort to stop it. Or a wall flower you will be and a wall flower you will stay.

My Friends

My friends (for the most part) are lame. Either they make plans and bail last minute... And I mean REALLY last minute lol. Or they don't talk to me for months until I contact them first. I find I'm just sitting at home bored out of my mind a lot. I need to remedy this, probably by getting new friends lol.

That's all I have for now. At least until I find out how to post pictures and videos >_>.

First Blog EVER!

So uh yeah... first blog ever. Just saw the Green Hornet with Eric for the second time tonight. It is funny. Definitely worth seeing. If you have seen the original Green Hornet TV show you might be a little disappointed. Its just isn't the same.

Eric and I are making a mockumentary  (Fictional movie in the style of a documentary, for those of you who don't know). We are in the scripting and storyboarding phase. We have a lot of idea we would love to put into action but our budget is out of our pockets. We need equipment and people, We are going to try to find some people who would like to volunteer, including camera people, boom operators, actors, directing consultants and editors. It's going to be a non-profit project that we would love to get into a few film festivals to get our name out there.

Can you find love if you are looking for it? Or does it have to find you? Is the question we are asking. We are hoping to travel the East Coast interviewing people (and because we like to travel) and get some real input and advice on the matter. We will use the interviews to support our primary storyline. A young man fresh out of a two year long relationship is searching for love. After being in a bad relationship for two years he isn't sure he even can love at this point. He tries everything from blind dating to online dating and trying to just meet people. He is a nice guy just a little socially awkward and meeting people is not his strongest feature. He decides to document his little adventure with his two best friends. (It's a movie about making a movie yes). All the interviews will be real. We are actually documenting our search for the answer to this question we have. The central plot with be fiction though. We need people to fill the roles of friends, family, girlfriends/boyfriends, dates (for when the main character tried meeting people) and a significant other for when the main character actually meets someone. We will also need people to play some thugs and what not too.

So, we have a lot on our plate from organizing our thoughts and ideas, to getting equipment, finding people and actually shooting this. This venture of ours is looking to take the better part of two years as of now. But I really think we can do it well.